Why Cats are Better in Business than Dogs

I realize that this may alienate some of you, but cats are better in business than dogs. I don’t have scientific evidence to support this claim, but I do have an abundance of anecdotal evidence.

First, I’ve never seen a dog operate a successful business. My cousin had a German Shepherd that opened a lemonade stand once and the stupid dog kept drinking all of the lemonade. A cat would never do that.

Second, cats have self-respect. You can kick a dog in the face and he’ll still love you. You even look at a cat the wrong way and he’ll poop in your shoes. Business success requires self-respect.

Third, cats have nine lives. Cats can survive all kinds of things, like falling 10 stories. Business often puts us in risky situations and the ability to survive them is crucial.

Fourth, cats are inquisitive. Cats, like successful business owners, seek to learn about the world around them. About the most curiosity dogs show is what another dog’s butt smells like. That might be fine for dogs, but it doesn’t fly in the business world. Try that with your next customer and see what happens.

Fifth, cats are better communicators. Sure, their vocabulary is limited to “mew”, “meow”, and “hsss”, but these “words” are spoken and understood by all cats. Admittedly, dogs have a larger vocabulary, consisting of “words” such as “arf”, “bark”, “roof”, “bow-wow”, “grr”, and similar noises. But I’ve yet to find a dog who can explain the difference between “arf” and “bow-wow”, though they continue to use redundant concepts. It just makes for a very confusing conversation.

Sixth, dogs have no respect for others. They will bark all night, not caring that the neighbors have an actual job. Have you ever heard a cat bark all night? I rest my case.

In conclusion, if you want to own a successful painting business, act more like a cat than a dog. Be a cute, fuzzy little feline and your customers will rub your chin and scratch your head. And that will make you purr all the way to the bank.

© BEP Enterprises Incorporated 2008